yesterday's tennessee

Scotts Hill High School Hill Billets 1932

JOKES

Lena: "I owe you for all I know."
Mrs. Jones: "Don't mention such a trifle."

* * * * *

Reba: "Did I show you where I hurt my knee."
J. M.: "No, where?"
Reba: "Well, we will drive over there."

* * * * *

A man in the hospital for a mental case sat fishing over a flower bed. A visitor approached and, wishing to be friendly, remarked:
"How many have you caught?"
"You are the ninth," he answered.

* * * * *

Ruby H.: "Hey, its lucky that I ran over you in front of the doctors house."
Victim: "Yeah, but I am the doctor."

* * * * *

Mr. Milam: "If I had known that tunnel was so long I would have given you a jolly good hug."
Miss Powers: "Why didn't you? Somebody did."

* * * * *

Paul: "Early to bed and early to rise and your girl goes out with other guys."

* * * * *

Freshman: "You are not what you used to be."
Senior: "No, I used to be a Freshman."

* * * * *

Noah M.: "I suppose you will try for a Ph.D. when you finish here?"
Fount M.: "No, what I want next is a J. O. B."

* * * * *

Mrs. Jones: "Getting married is a hard job."
M. Jones: "Staying married is still harder."

* * * * *

Mr. Turner: "Make me a sentence with income in it."
George T.: "I opened the door and in come a cat."

* * * * *

John: "I'm so hungry I could eat a monkey."
Lester: "Well I expect I had better be going."

* * * * *

Miss Powers: "Don't ask any more questions Kenneth. Don't you know that curiosity once killed a cat?"
Kenneth: "What did the cat want to know Miss Powers?

* * * * *

Mary E.: (taking a trip on a ship.)
Monday: "Everybody came down to see me off. Everything lovely."
Tuesday: "I'm having a fine time met the captain of the ship."
Wednesday: "Captain tried to kiss me. I indignantly refused."
Thursday: "Captain is wild with anger. He says unless I kiss him he will blow the ship up."
Friday: I saved the lives of five hundred people."

* * * * *

Miss Powers: "Is Prof. Jones a lady killer?"
Mrs. Jones: "Yes, he stones them to death."

* * * * *

"If your coffee taste like mud there is a reason. It might have been ground only yesterday."

* * * * *

The shoe said to the stocking: "I'll rub a hole in you."
The stocking said to the shoe: "I'll be darned if you do."

* * * * *

Fount Milam and Rubye Rimmer had been married but a short time when Fount had to be away for two weeks.
"I'll just learn to cook while you are gone,", said Rubye his sweet young wife.
"Good idea, and I'll take the dog over to the neighbors," said Fount.

* * * * *

Leo: "My fiancee 's lipstick seems to have a different taste from ether women's"
Cecil: (innocently) "Yes, sort of orange flavor, hasn't it?"

* * * * *

Mrs. Jones: "Have you done your outside reading?"
John: "No, it's too cold."

* * * * *

John: "Could you tell me the name of the piece the orchestra is playing?"
Ethel: "'Go Feather Your Nest'"
John: "Well, you go jump in the lake. I asked you a decent question."

* * * * *

Lena: "I'd like a number of rooms for myself. Can you accommodate me?"
Clerk: "Yes—Suite One."
Lena: "How dare you!"

 

Return to Contents